THE HEART KEEPS LOOKING FOR ITSELF
18 x 22 in. Mixed medium on paper. 2016
Light lives everywhere: no legs, no breath, no need for shoes. Its unmooring effortless, nothing in tow. No need for hands: it does not take itself to be responsible. Light carries nothing, and the place it thinks, it is.”
-Segment of poem from Jan Zwicky in “Songs for Relinquishing the Earth
We often hope to outrun our growing pains, this notion of actualizing, of achieving a place where we will understand and no longer need to wrestle through our daily lives. The falsity that wisdom is stable and being good is doing things right. –
We keep growing. We talk to ourselves, and I wonder who that other is- the one we are asking the questions to, or defending ourselves against, or silencing. We are not stable beings with stable answers, I cannot brainstorm a single thing that is. So we must keep learning, keep walking forward, keep being reintroduced to our new self, the one that’s taking in humanity, the one that knows wisdom is flexible and forgiving, the bend of a snakes back. We must be courageous to love ourselves, and be brave to stand up for others. We matter, our thoughts and bodies matter, our ideas and neighbors and earth matters. And as long as things matter, then we must continue to look for ourselves, and see how to grow next, one heartbeat at a time.